Fatherless – Yet not Alone

A year. A whole year! My siblings and I have been fatherless a year. My dear mother has been a widow for a year.

I can’t even explain to myself how I feel. My heart seems to go into fibrillation when I think about the incident or see pictures. I feel kind of nervous, and an incredible depth of sadness. And the strangest feeling is the one of disbelief. I still can’t fathom the fact that my father is dead. I can’t believe that my mom is a widow. How did this happen? When did this happen? Whose story am I reading? It can’t be mine.

I am trying to keep everything under control. I have a job to do, and I want to do it properly. Here I sit at my test bench, surrounded by coworkers, bravely plugging on through my daily routine. But it somehow seems so unimportant. I am randomly gripped by an overwhelming grief, and I start to cry. But I have to keep it under control. Professional. So I just breath heavily.

I am so grateful for the support from everyone around me. My friends, my family, my coworkers; all have rallied around us to let us know: we are not alone. I keenly miss my father, one of the best and godliest men I have ever known. No one can replace that earthly position he filled in our lives. But we have a heavenly Father, one who will never leave us nor forsake us. He is the one who gives me peace and joy through my grief. He is the One who helps me keep going when all I want to do is give up.

Thank you to everyone who has allowed God to show love through you. Thank you for serving and comforting and being a shoulder to cry on. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I love you guys. Because of you, I know I’m not alone.

Allen D. Parfitt