Fatherless – Yet not Alone

A year. A whole year! My siblings and I have been fatherless a year. My dear mother has been a widow for a year.

I can’t even explain to myself how I feel. My heart seems to go into fibrillation when I think about the incident or see pictures. I feel kind of nervous, and an incredible depth of sadness. And the strangest feeling is the one of disbelief. I still can’t fathom the fact that my father is dead. I can’t believe that my mom is a widow. How did this happen? When did this happen? Whose story am I reading? It can’t be mine.

I am trying to keep everything under control. I have a job to do, and I want to do it properly. Here I sit at my test bench, surrounded by coworkers, bravely plugging on through my daily routine. But it somehow seems so unimportant. I am randomly gripped by an overwhelming grief, and I start to cry. But I have to keep it under control. Professional. So I just breath heavily.

I am so grateful for the support from everyone around me. My friends, my family, my coworkers; all have rallied around us to let us know: we are not alone. I keenly miss my father, one of the best and godliest men I have ever known. No one can replace that earthly position he filled in our lives. But we have a heavenly Father, one who will never leave us nor forsake us. He is the one who gives me peace and joy through my grief. He is the One who helps me keep going when all I want to do is give up.

Thank you to everyone who has allowed God to show love through you. Thank you for serving and comforting and being a shoulder to cry on. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I love you guys. Because of you, I know I’m not alone.

Allen D. Parfitt

2 thoughts on “Fatherless – Yet not Alone

  1. If we think we are here for ourselves, we can really complain about what was “taken away.” But if we think we are here for the glory and pleasure of Almighty God, Maker of heaven and earth, then we are in awe that He cares about us and is wisely deciding every part of our lives, even the sad ones. Even Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. (Isa. 53:3)

    But unlike the treatment Jesus received, which was having people hide their faces from him according to that verse, God watches everything we do.

    Job 34:21–For his eyes are upon the ways of man, and he seeth all his goings.

    Psalms 32:8–I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.

    Psalms 32:10–Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.

    So keep your trust in the Lord, and His mercy will comfort you. You will have joy in knowing He began a good work in you and He will complete it. (Phil. 1:6)

  2. I think your post echoes what my sons, especially what my oldest (11) feels. The deep grief, trying to hold it together, yet knowing God is with us and others are upholding us in prayer. Thank you for sharing and I am so thankful for your mother’s friendship across the miles.

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